I have a long road ahead of me.
Last night, I went to my first Body Step class since joining the YMCA. It has been 6 years EASY since I’ve taken Body Step. I figured that maybe I’d be okay, so I grabbed one riser and my step. Half way through the class, I dropped to just the step. A few songs later I was doing a lot on the floor, not even using the step.
This morning I woke up exhausted and sore. But so freaken excited.
This is the feeling I’ve been missing. The feeling of working out so hard that you are so tired the next morning and so sore. Knowing you left everything in that workout. I was doing the lower intensity steps but I was still there and still got my sweat on.
But dude. Such a long road ahead of me. Getting back to fit sucks sometimes.
I am still trying to work out a schedule that will work for me; one that would include classes and running. With me working till 5 and being 35 minutes away from my gym, I have to play it close to the clock. Working through lunches a few days a week will let me get out of here at 4pm and still make it to the gym in time for classes. If I get my hours adjusted, I can go to the 5:45am classes instead. It’s just a matter of figuring out what is best for me and work.
I haven’t run in a while, to be honest. April kind of flew by and between my vacation and the drama that has happened in St. Johns County this month, it was all I could do to sleep through the night. (the story about Father Rene Robert who was found shot and killed in Georgia originated here in St. Augustine. That is one of four murders that happened in 3 weeks.) The few times I did get out there and try to run, I was hurting. I think I still need to adjust to my new, moderate shoes. I still rotate my feet out and run on the outsides of my feet but we are working on fixing that. It’s gonna take time.
I did, however, pull out my calendars and plans and look over everything again. I should be on point to start half marathon training in July, and full marathon training in October. Especially if I really buckle down and get my workouts in at the gym as well as some conditioning runs.
The hardest part of all of this is remembering that while I am starting over, I shouldn’t berate myself. It’s easy to look in the mirror and be cruel to yourself, or to look at your times and be evil. It’s hard to look at yourself for what you are right now and know that you are committed to doing better and being better. When I was in class, surrounded by mirrors, I felt like a failure for a few moments, but then I realized that I had done this before. I had to start somewhere, and I know what I can become. It’s just a stepping stone to getting back to fit.
So if you are starting over again, and need some motivation and positive vibes, then remember this: You are wonderful, strong, and powerful just as you are. All you are doing is getting better.
And all we should want is to be better.