No one likes to start over from the beginning, but sometimes it just has to happen. There is nothing wrong with that. No one who has a firm understanding of your world will ever judge you for it (and if they do, re-examine that friendship) and everyone has been there. Starting over means just that: back at square one, doing everything you did when you first started and sometimes that just sucks.
And sometimes you’ll find yourself wishing you could go faster, push harder, run longer. You’ll probably mentally berate yourself for not being better, faster, stronger, whatever else Kanye sings in his songs. You’ll wish you could still fit into your smaller running clothes, or any clothes at that, and you’ll beat yourself up for letting yourself go.
Don’t. It’s wasted energy, and isn’t worth the time. Instead, funnel that energy into something that is productive.
I had run into my friend Eric at the Orange Park Ale House when I was there with friends to watch the UFC fights. He was there to watch the Hurricanes Football game and we caught up. I hadn’t really talked to him since I left the station, and it was nice to see him. We got on the topic of running, and I admitted to blowing it off for most of the year.
“I’m going to start half training, but it’s not going to be for time this year. I’ll focus on time training in January. Right now, I just want to focus on running,” I said. He nodded and thought it was a good idea. I was chatting with him yesterday as I started my run. At the end, I messaged him about how much I missed my 11 minute miles, but you know what? I still finished the run smiling. It felt good to be getting back out there.
Sure it was hot, and my legs hurt and I was sore this morning, but you know what? I enjoyed the run.
You can’t beat yourself up for starting over. And you have to stay positive. It will be the hardest thing you do, staying positive, but so long as you are doing this you have to fight the good fight. You and your body already know what it’s like to run at your peak, all you have to do is get there again. It will take less time to get there than when you first started, but it will still take time. It won’t be overnight.
Pick out some fun running clothes in the size you are now, knowing that you’ll get back down to the right size soon enough. Put on some fun music and forget about the time that may be chirping in your ear or on your wrist. Look around at your surroundings and see what else is out there other than the run. Smile. Laugh. Breath. Sweat. Enjoy the run.
Enjoy the run.