Sometimes life gives you lemons and the knowledge of how to make lemonade. Or better yet, lemon drops. Then you take some of the fruit and the zest and make preserves. Either way, you use the lemons and make something useful out of them.
But when life hands you a lemon, a screwdriver, a porcupine, a hubcap and fire all at once…well, that’s a little different. Suddenly you have your hands full of stuff that doesn’t make any sense together and just when you got an idea on how to use said items, life throws in a meteor, 5 candlesticks, a pen and a handful of peanuts to the mix and you don’t know what to do anymore because what the hell, life? Kick me while I’m down why don’t ya.
That’s kind of what happened. Everything hit me all at once, and suddenly I was in a downward spiral of stress, mad chaos, depression, and confusion. It was two weeks of hell, and I won’t lie: there was a snot bubble meltdown and some wine therapy in my processing of everything.
But I’m scrappy, and won’t let this keep me down!
A quick recap: my car died (again) and after a very long 4 days of heated, tense discussions (and arguments and tears and stress) – we decided that we are not fixing it. Suddenly, a heavy weight is off my shoulders. And, hello car shopping. My laptop died too. Good times, since my desktop already doesn’t work properly. I’m having issues with work, my dad is having some healthy issues again, things have been tense with the Dreamboat, I haven’t been sleeping, my digestive system is totally out of whack and to put a cherry on top of an already shitty sundae: a 4 day migraine. Stress being at an all time high most certainly caused that one, I’m sure.
Here’s the thing – I thrive on being as positive as I can, and helping others see the better light in situations, but sometimes I crash and burn too. Everyone does! And I don’t like complaining about how awful life gets sometimes, but in the effort of remaining transparent with you who I call my friends, I wanted to fill you in on what was going on.
I haven’t run at all this week, and I miss it. I miss the escape from everything going on, the release of the tension that keeps me bogged down, the sweat dripping into my eyes and the music blaring in my ears. But my head has hurt all week long, and I haven’t been sleeping and I felt miserable and all I really wanted was to wallow in self pity. Then again, I can’t run with a migraine, and I took 6 doses of my emergency medications in 4 days. Which is A LOT considering this is the first long term migraine I have had since the surgery.
I really just wanted to touch base with you, and let you know that I’m alive and well. I’m going car shopping this weekend to test drive a Honda CRV and a Honda Fit, then find a new Sante Fe and see which I like. My rockstar husband is going to help me get the car, which is helping the tension between us to slowly ease away. I’m also going to purchase a new cord for the laptop I have while looking into buying a new one. I’m doing daily meditations again to help keep the stress down, and I finally broke free of my migraine. There are still some issues that I have yet to find a good solution for, but for now things are going smoothly. I’ll take that as a win.
And tonight, when I get off work, I’m going to run. It may be slow and it may be just a few miles, but I need to run. It’s part of what keeps me sane and given everything that has happened, well… a stress release of this kind is necessary. (and the other kind of stress relief we all know and love will have to come later. brown chicken brown cow!! hahahah!!)
Thanks for being so understanding, everyone. I love each and every one of you.