I woke up this morning feeling amazing. My head didn’t hurt, I slept like a rock, and I just felt GOOD. It had been so long since I had woken up feeling good I had to stop and take account as to what could have caused this amazing good mood. And, of course, while doing that I started to think about July and how this was the best month ever, and the worst month ever all at the same time.
Confusing? Yeah. But perfectly perfect at the same time.
I was dancing around in my kitchen as I was making coffee this morning to the 90s station on Spotify, just feeling good. I made an awesome cup of coffee, then made my lunch feeling good. I went to the bathroom and got ready for work, feeling good. Then I started to reflect on July and… felt good.
Medications are Working: Earlier this month (or was it end of last month?) I went to the doctor and asked about getting back on my anti-depressants. I remember telling you about doing it, and I never have hidden the fact that I do suffer from depression. I got off of the medication for the surgery, and just never got back on it because I didn’t feel like I needed it. But as time went on, and work got more and more stressful, and more and more responsibilities were placed on my shoulders… family started to notice that I wasn’t acting like myself. My mom suggested that I consider going back on them, and I scoffed at her
“I’ve got it under control, Mom. I’m good,” I said to her. Sadly, I wasn’t. By the time I noticed that things were starting to get bad I had already lost interest in things that I loved, started sleeping more and more, and felt miserable. Still, I put off the meds. It wasn’t until after a discussion with a close friend that I realized that the meds were necessary, and there is no shame in getting back on them.
“I’ve never been ashamed of being on them, I was just hoping that I didn’t need to get on them again,” I said to her. I could see her smile through the text message, sad and understanding. She kindly reminded me that I’ve been on a downward spiral since I got promoted at work and that it’s a stressful job and it’s okay to go back on them. And to stay on them. Because I do need them.
Well, it’s been a month now, and I feel… good. Some of my old habits are back, my muse is back, my sleeping is getting more and more normal every day. I’m laughing easier, and I can see my smile become more and more genuine than it has been in a long time. The one thing I didn’t plan on is how the body adjusts to this kind of medication. Oops. 🙂
Physical with good numbers: I had my follow up appointment with my doctor on Monday, and things look good. She checked on my anti-depressants and was pleased to see that I was starting to feel better. Not 100% yet, but better. She noted that my BP has dropped significantly and is almost in the normal range from before, so she thinks that the medication is helping that as well. Then we went into the blood work and other numbers. From my March Health Assessment, all my numbers are down and in the GOOD zone, except for my weight (well, duh) and my cholesterol, which was just slightly elevated. She told me to eat a heart healthy diet (which I already do thanks to heart disease running in my family) and lose some weight (which I am working on as well) and I should be good.
When she talked to me about my weight it was funny – My appointment in June showed my weight at 190, and on Monday I weighed in at 186. “Oh,” she said. “You are already working on your weight loss. Good job.” Yep. A better diet does wonders.
Gluten Free Jamie: Speaking of a better diet – I’ve not had any real gluten all month long, and I feel amazing. I’ve been regular, with little bloating and pain. It’s been such a drastic difference from when I allowed myself to have a little here and a little there. I still drink beer from time to time, but it’s nothing compared to eating bread or pasta. And with gluten free items becoming easier to find, it’s even better. When I go grocery shopping, I purchase my GF items, and then I purchase “normal” items for Dreamboat, and we are both happy. Who knew pooping regularly would be so amazing? HA!
#Run100July: Epic failure. Didn’t happen the way I wanted it to. I had a plan to nail this, and even when I had to sit out a week because of my own stupidity, I still couldn’t make it work. But honestly, I don’t feel too devastated about it. Between the heat trying to kill me, my body adjusting to the medication, and life in general… it just happens. I should know better than to try and do something epic like that in the middle of the hottest month of the year. (And I’m going to try again in August. I’m totally a glutton for punishment)
Jamie VS The Heat: Speaking of the heat – I have this bad habit of overheating quickly. My skin gets red, my breathing gets really labored, I get light headed and sometimes am damn near passing out. My pulse skyrockets along with my body temperature. At the Gate River Run 3 or 4 years ago, I actually ended up in the medical tent with a 108 degree temperature, covered in ice cold towels and shivering. I was slurring my speech and had a hard time keeping my eyes open. And that was when the average temp was in the mid 80s. That was the first and last time I ever ignore my body and push harder than I need to.
So when it gets really really REALLY hot and don’t feel right, I walk. Or I don’t run at all. Sure I could use the treadmill, but really I don’t want to because it’s boring and I always feel like I’m running slower than I need to be. So instead, I sit inside, stretch while I watch television with Dreamboat, and enjoy some personal time with him since we don’t get that much and are usually too busy to really enjoy each others company. Once the temperatures stop being in the 100s with the heat index, I’ll go outside and run consistently again. For now, I’m enjoying running when I can and the time I get with my family and friends.
So that’s it! That’s why this month has been awesome and awful. It was hard as hell to get to this point, but at the same time, I am so glad I got here… things can only go up! Here are some plans for August:
– Tour de Pain this weekend! 3 races in 24 hours. 4 miler, 5k, and a 1 mile sizzler.
– 100 miles in August! Can I make it? I can only hope.
– MAYBE that half marathon in San Antonio. I’m questioning it… but I need to register soon if I want to do it!
– Maybe some awesome interviews with some great products! What’s your favorite?
– How about some of my attempts at cooking? Or a showcase of some restaurants that have awesome GF food?
Here’s to a great August.