If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

Earlier this week, I was faced with a really rude comment from a reader. Well, check that. I can’t swear that he was a reader of my blog. Because if he was a regular reader of the blog, he’d know all about all the drama that I have been going through the last year.

Either way – this reader who called themselves “Drem” was really rude. I’m assuming it’s a “he” as well, so if he/she/it is reading and I’m wrong, my apologies… but Drem posted a comment on the blog that said this:

Idiot Running Girl… why do you look so FAT when you seem to be running for so long now?

Ouch. That wasn’t very nice. At first I was really hurt: My weight is something I am very sensitive about in general, not because of what others think of me, but because of how I feel. And I feel fluffy right now, with about 30 extra pounds around my middle. Then I got angry: Who the hell did this guy think he is calling ME fat?! And hiding behind the keyboard in order to do so? How rude!

Then I started to feel amused whole thing. I work in social media for a living, dude. I stare at a plethora of pages on the daily, reading some of the most evil, cruel, rude and obnoxious things people feel brave saying on an internet forum. This is the very first negative comment I have received in my blogging career, and I was going to let this guy get the best of me?

When I posted about the whole thing on my Facebook page, I was met with some of the nicest comments from people. Your kind words and evil names for this guy were exactly what I needed to hear, despite my brave facade. Because I did let him hurt me a little bit, but after reading all of your kind words, I felt better about the whole situation.

And truth of the matter is this: Why ya gotta be so mean? Is it not enough that I’m out there, running, trying to bring the best of me forward? Is it not enough that I’m eating a health meal instead of the junk food I am craving at the moment? Is it not enough for you? And why should any of this matter to you?

Never have I ever been mean to someone about what they were doing fitness wise. Never have I ever judged someone, told them they were “too fat” to do something, or criticized them for not fitting into the perfect mold of what an athlete should look like and that’s because they come in all shapes and sizes. If you are out there, doing what is necessary to be healthy, then what does it matter what I look like?

I texted a friend of mine whom I used to be really close to this morning to let her know that a mutual friend of ours was now back in town, and back at News4Jax. She then told me that she thinks of me every time she drove past my condo to get to her gym. That started a conversation about her working out and the like, because we used to be gym rats together back in the day (when the best gym EVER was still open. UGH. I miss Cory Evereson’s gym!)

She’s a member of the Brooks YMCA. She told me she does yoga, and swims laps the pool. I was impressed. I’m STILL impressed. She’s a tall girl, a bigger girl like me, and she’s out there doing amazing things at the gym. And when I told her that, you know what she said to me?

I finally got to the point of I’m done being out of shape. I’m always going to be a large woman but I can be healthy.

And that…that is the most important part. It’s not your pant size, or your dress size. It’s not the skimpy bikinis that you wear at the beach, or the amount of weight you throw around the gym. It’s not the pace of the mile you run, or the amount of box jumps you do at CrossFit. It’s not any of that. It’s that you are a healthy person, both physically and mentally. And anyone who tells you otherwise is a damn fool.

Bottom line is this: Sure “Drem” hurt my feelings for a bit by calling me fat. But this “fat girl” runs half marathons for fun. She walks the stairs every day, numerous times a day, instead of taking the elevator at work. She gave up soda despite it being my achilies’ heel. She says no to the pizza that her station bring in to cover major events, and eats her hummus, her salad, her roasted veggies and fish instead. She doesn’t take no for an answer when it comes to getting her health back, and when she trips and falls, she gets right back up and goes back to what she was doing before.

She’s focused, and she’s dedicated. She’s smart and she’s determined. She may be fat, but she’s pretty sure she runs more than he does, if he even runs at all.

So, Drem, if you are a real reader and not just a troll looking to be a pain in the ass of the world… here’s the thing: You can be negative, hateful and cruel all you want. All you are going to do is prove yourself unworthy of kindness and the optimism that gets me through 13.1 miles. For fun. Have a great day!

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15 thoughts on “If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

    • Shehe says:

      To all you “idiot” fat girls
      Self-deprecation (calling yourself “idiot running girl” and fat) is not modesty, It,s self obsession. Isn’t this why you blog about yourself … you are self-obsessed
      Here’s why you not losing the weight: because you are consuming more calories than burning. Period. End of story! there are plenty of unhealthy skinny people, but if you are still fat and apparently having been running for long time, then you are definitely eating and drinking too much. Are you relying on fattening comfort foods to medicate your insecurities? Or, do you pretend that you don’t care what you look like.
      It’s easier to accept what’s with wrong with yourself than to work (stop gluttonously over eating and drinking) to make it right.Unfortunately a lot of people take the easy way out by convincing themselves that they are happy.
      You probably know that you burn more calories from running thean most other activities you can do, so then while running, you probably assume you are going shed pounds with all the extra mileage, but you probably are not considering the sports drinks and energy gels, which have a high caloric content or the increased hunger that naturally follows moderate to vigorous activities.
      Yes, the energy demands of running are high, but that doesnt mean that you can eat a big mac and a donut guilt-free and still lose weight. “Hey, I ran 5 miles today, I deserve it!” … be honest, you say this and then rationalize that dessert or beverage you consume, like the meet-up at Starbucks after a weekend run. An iced latté and a small scone will quickly eliminate any caloric deficit from the run and negate weight loss.
      My suggestion… Stop being an idiot running girl and go educate yourself!

      • jljohnson says:

        If you were a regular reader of this blog and knew anything about me, then you would know that I do eat healthy, I don’t binge on fatty gross fast food, (I mean really, who eats Big Macs anymore?) and you would know my history and the story of my blog name.

        But clearly, you don’t, which means you don’t matter. So thanks anyway! Hope you have a fantastic day!

      • Zayra says:

        If Shehe has any issues with your blog, then Shehe I have a suggestion: DON’T READ IT!!! If you have any issues with the “idiot runner girls” then: DON’T READ THE BLOG!!! Let people be. Just follow the saying: if you don’t have anything nice to say, then SHUT UP! You are rude and plain nasty. To all non-skinny runners keep on running and enjoy it!

        A correr y a disfrutar la experiencia! Paz y amor.

  1. d20girl says:

    I think most nasty people are nasty from fear, insecurity or deep hurt. Lashing out makes them feel better for a moment. Sorry he/she was ugly to you. Glad you are turning it around to focus on all the positive things you’re accomplishing. From another “non-skinny” runner!

  2. Mindy Hartung says:

    As I’m sure you know from your work, the majority of people that post these nasty comments are usually talking about their own insecurities. This person is hiding behind a keyboard trying desperately to bring anyone they can down to their level of self-hate so that they don’t feel so alone.

    I am already in awe of you and all you have accomplished, then add in the fact that you are strong enough to see through this and use it to lift you up rather than tear you down…you, my dear, are my hero. You are a shining example of strength, determination, focus, discipline, acceptance, joy, and love.

    There will always be people like “Drem”, but luckily for us there are also people like you. For our sake, don’t ever stop doing what you’re doing. We need your light to continue to shine bright showing us the way to our better selves.

  3. grabyourkicks says:

    Fantastic post! Saw your post on Miles to Blog fb and had to read more. I think you hit it right on the head. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and putting people down. Really, that’s just a reflection of that person and THEIR insecurities. Props to you my girl. Keep on rocking!!!

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