Defeated, but focused

My head has been hurting. My shins are screaming, and my knees ache. I’ve been running on the treadmill for the past few days, and I feel like I have some seriously crappy form. My upper body is tight and achy, my lower back is tight, and by golly is it not one of the BEST feelings ever.

Everything about me running again might suck donkey balls, but it sure feels good to get back out there and just run.

I knew that getting back in the habit was going to be tough, just like I know it’s only a matter of time until my body goes “oh, hey … I remember this!” and gets more comfortable with the whole concept of running, but it kind of sucks being reminded that you are right back square in the beginning all over again.

Funny thing is, this isn’t deterring me at all. Usually this would make me want to quit and say screw it. But it’s not. And I’m kind of excited about that because it means that my subconscious knows what I am doing, and remembers how important it is to me and how it used to be a part of me.

Or I am looking way too deep into things and am grasping at straws. You pick.

Getting back into the habits that you haven’t done in a long time is hard. It’s hard to find the motivation, and then it’s hard to keep it when you do find it. It’s hard to go run and look at the number and think “Man, I used to do 5 miles in that time” and it’s hard to stay as positive as you can. It’s hard to turn down the things that you usually say yes to that you know are unhealthy, and it’s hard to change habits that developed over time.

I’m surprisingly focused for feeling so defeated. I know that this set back is just that: a set back. I know that within a matter of months my body will remember how it’s supposed to run correctly (long strides, shoulders down, deep breathing) and what foods it wants (whole foods, fresh fruits and veggies) and less of what I usually turn to for stress (sweets, salty, and my favorite sodas) and I know it will take time.

The best part of it is that I’ve done this before, and I know I can do it again. It’s a challenge to prove to myself above everyone else that I can do this. Sure, there are a lot of obstacles in the way – but that’s just how life is. Life is an adventure, and we just need to decide if we want to live in that adventure, or run scared away from it.

Knowledge is power, and getting to do this whole restart thing a second time is going to be easier because I know what I need to do. And I have awesome friends and family keeping me in check.

So…who have you motivated today?


2 thoughts on “Defeated, but focused

  1. Sabrina says:

    I’ve been an on again, off again runner for a little over 2 years. I recently started running (on the treadmill) again. Everything hurt getting out of bed this morning, but I know it will get easier and things will get better as long as I stay focused on my goal. For me, staying focused is the most important part of running.

    Yesterday I motivated a co-worker to come to the gym. She has been an every other day workout kind of girl, but who says she can’t workout two or three days in a row? Let’s do it!

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