I didn’t work out at all the last week. After getting these stitches for Felix the Alien that was living in my shoulder, every time I moved the wrong way and pulled on them, it hurt. I monitored my eating and drinking, I was watchful of the things I chose to eat, and I was extremely careful with the amount of bored eating I did while I was at work.
After finishing a 3rd week of gluten free eating, and being watchful I felt great this morning. I work up and looked in the mirror, and while I’m not completely happy with what I see reflected there, I’m not totally disgusted with what I see either. Sure it’s a bit heavier than I want right now, but it’s not my heaviest by any means.
So why then, when I got on the scale this morning and weighed in, did I see it jump up ANOTHER two lbs?! Frustrated is an understatement, and it’s taking everything in me to NOT jump into the dangerous throes of body hate.
We’ve all been there. We look at our bodies in the mirror and grab and tug and poke and pull and think “Man, I really hate (insert body part here)” and beat ourselves up for not being societies version of perfect. It’s almost like it’s ingrained in us since we were children: we have to look pretty and not get dirty and keep that perfect figure that (insert your favorite famous face) has. I’ve been there all my life and it sucks horribly.
It’s unhealthy and companies like Dove are desperately trying to get women to look at their bodies and be HAPPY with what they see, even proud. And believe it or not it was that Dove commercial I found herethat got me to stop hating on my body. It had me in tears when I first saw it sitting at my desk at work, and it has me in tears now after just watching it again for like the 20th time.
Why is it that we, as women, see ourselves as such ugly creatures when we aren’t? Why do we put ourselves down so significantly that we end up seeing something completely different in the mirror than what our friends, our family, our significant others see? Are we that blinded by our own hatred of our bodies, the lack of perfection that we so desperately crave that we miss what is right there in front of us the whole time?
I’m frustrated right now because I can’t run and my running schedule for the next 6 or so weeks is screwed up thanks to the stitches I have now and the migraine surgery I have in just 23 days. I’m frustrated because while my diet is cleaner (for me) I’m not losing the weight I had hoped for. And I”m frustrated that the scale this morning said I weighed in at 186. Again, not my heaviest but it’s creeping back up to a place I don’t want it to be at.
But…I have strong legs that are going to carry me to the eye doctor today and then to the farmer’s market to buy a ton of fresh fruit and veggies. I have a smile that I have been told is infectious and happy. I have bright blue eyes that change colors sometimes: they can be green, or hazel, or sometimes even grey.
Conquering body hate is never easy. Even the strongest, most fit people I know have complained about their lack of rock hard abs or their lack of definition in their limbs. But if we can counter those negative thoughts with a positive one, imagine how much happier women – and everyone – could be.
Everyone and every body is beautiful. Today, you should go up to someone and tell them that they are beautiful. I promise you will make their day.