Dealing With Body Hate

I didn’t work out at all the last week. After getting these stitches for Felix the Alien that was living in my shoulder, every time I moved the wrong way and pulled on them, it hurt. I monitored my eating and drinking, I was watchful of the things I chose to eat, and I was extremely careful with the amount of bored eating I did while I was at work.

After finishing a 3rd week of gluten free eating, and being watchful I felt great this morning. I work up and looked in the mirror, and while I’m not completely happy with what I see reflected there, I’m not totally disgusted with what I see either. Sure it’s a bit heavier than I want right now, but it’s not my heaviest by any means.

So why then, when I got on the scale this morning and weighed in, did I see it jump up ANOTHER two lbs?! Frustrated is an understatement, and it’s taking everything in me to NOT jump into the dangerous throes of body hate.

We’ve all been there. We look at our bodies in the mirror and grab and tug and poke and pull and think “Man, I really hate (insert body part here)” and beat ourselves up for not being societies version of perfect. It’s almost like it’s ingrained in us since we were children: we have to look pretty and not get dirty and keep that perfect figure that (insert your favorite famous face) has. I’ve been there all my life and it sucks horribly.

It’s unhealthy and companies like Dove are desperately trying to get women to look at their bodies and be HAPPY with what they see, even proud. And believe it or not it was that Dove commercial I found herethat got me to stop hating on my body. It had me in tears when I first saw it sitting at my desk at work, and it has me in tears now after just watching it again for like the 20th time.

Why is it that we, as women, see ourselves as such ugly creatures when we aren’t? Why do we put ourselves down so significantly that we end up seeing something completely different in the mirror than what our friends, our family, our significant others see? Are we that blinded by our own hatred of our bodies, the lack of perfection that we so desperately crave that we miss what is right there in front of us the whole time?

I’m frustrated right now because I can’t run and my running schedule for the next 6 or so weeks is screwed up thanks to the stitches I have now and the migraine surgery I have in just 23 days. I’m frustrated because while my diet is cleaner (for me) I’m not losing the weight I had hoped for. And I”m frustrated that the scale this morning said I weighed in at 186. Again, not my heaviest but it’s creeping back up to a place I don’t want it to be at.

But…I have strong legs that are going to carry me to the eye doctor today and then to the farmer’s market to buy a ton of fresh fruit and veggies. I have a smile that I have been told is infectious and happy. I have bright blue eyes that change colors sometimes: they can be green, or hazel, or sometimes even grey.

Conquering body hate is never easy. Even the strongest, most fit people I know have complained about their lack of rock hard abs or their lack of definition in their limbs. But if we can counter those negative thoughts with a positive one, imagine how much happier women – and everyone – could be.

Everyone and every body is beautiful. Today, you should go up to someone and tell them that they are beautiful. I promise you will make their day.


8 thoughts on “Dealing With Body Hate

  1. Jennifer LE (@runningwithpugs) says:

    Hugs. You are beautiful.

    When I was growing up, someone in my life would tell me that I would be so pretty IF I could just lose 5-10-15-20 pounds. That people would like me more. That I would be a better person. It took a long time to realize that those words were BS and that my weight had nothing to do with who I am inside. I struggled with eating disorders for years, desperate to be that better person, when a friend finally looked me in the eye and told me something along the lines of “We are young. We are smart. We have amazing friends. We live in a ridiculously fabulous city {Miami at the time} where we are at a football game in tank tops in December. It doesn’t get better than this. Don’t waste it.” Those words have stuck with me and have had a more last impression than the whole “if you could just lose weight” crap.

    Now, I’m healthy. I have a decent relationship with food, with exercise and with my body. I am active and in good shape, and while I will never be a model, I can run with my husband and five year old, race with my girlfriends, and enjoy the life I have made for myself. Sometimes I “eat to live” and sometimes I splurge because I feel like it. Moderation and balance are the keys. I don’t keep a scale in the house because I don’t want to be a prisoner of those numbers.

    For the record, that same person from my childhood now makes snide remarks about me running. In one ear and out the other. Negativity isn’t my thing, and I’m proud of myself and my choice to be a runner.

    Sorry for the hijack. I want everyone, male and female to know that the person they are on the inside is what makes the beauty on the outside. Life is too short to be consumed by never being satisfied.

    • jljohnson says:

      You know, I got a lot of that myself. All I heard growing up was why couldn’t I be more like my younger sister. She has always been skinnier than me, and more outgoing and more social and smarter and all that. But it’s not who I am.

      I’m beautiful and smart and who I am. Perfectly. It still bothers me that she compares herself to me repeatedly and annoyingly, but I’ve gotten to the point where it’s her problem now, not mine.

      I’m sorry that person from your past is such a debbie downer, but you are doing right by keeping her out of your mind and out of your motivation. Don’t do anything because of her, do it because of you.

      And hijack away. That’s what these posts are for! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Kristen says:

    You are beautiful! I have fought with these issue my whole life, at 40 I finally started to deal with them and have never been happier. I just blogged about body issues today as well, I haven’t worked out due to back issues! It’s frustrating, but hang in there. Remember true beauty comes from the inside. Just remember- “what other people think of me is none of my business”. Thank you for your continued inspiration!

    • jljohnson says:

      Aw, thank YOU for giving me a reason to be inspirational. I am simply blogging my feelings and thoughts.

      I’m always going to want better for myself physically, but the truth is our bodies can do amazing things and why should we bend to what society sees as beautiful? We are ALL beautiful. That’s all that matters.

  3. Jade Newman says:

    Sometimes you’ve got to take the number on the scale with a grain of salt. In my opinion, if you’re waking up feeling great and you like what you see that’s amazing! I think that’s much more important. ๐Ÿ™‚

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