I’m filled with mixed emotions right now. I’ve got excitement and concern and frustration and determination all strumming through me in a big glob of random roller coaster emotions. The truth is, this race is important to me. And I’m really sensitive right now.
Let me take you through my day – (the race parts, not the work parts. Work is boring.)
I spent a good hour or so at the Gate River Run Expo this afternoon, checking out the cool swag and gathering my items. The expo was held at the Jacksonville Fair Grounds, which also happens to be the post party location.
When I got there to grab our stuff I was surprised to see that the crowd was small. The line was quick and I was able to get my bib as well as Heather and Brian’s. Got our shirts and walked over the mat to test out the chips on the bib. All three names popped up, and I was happy. It was kind of a neat thing seeing that the chips are actually attached to the bib itself.
With our entries, not only do we get really awesome tech shirts, but we also get pint glasses that
have the Gate logo on it. This year they also had an outline of downtown Jax. I thought it looked pretty cool, and I know that I will be enjoying a nice frosty beverage after the race in that glass. (I actually had my dinner drink in last year’s glass on purpose!)
This year’s shirts are yellow for the men, and “salmon” for the ladies. It looks like orange and pink had a baby and spit that color out. I’m not sure how often I’ll wear it, but after closer examination, I realized that it has some reflective stuff built in, so I’m sure it’ll get more use than I think.
Walking into the crazy expo was nuts because as soon as I crossed into the room none other than Jaxson D. Ville, the mascot of the Jacksonville Jaguars, rode up on a segway. haha! How crazy! Tiffany joined me and walked through the entire thing. We checked out some fun booths that had a bunch of cool stuff for sale. It made me wish I had more cash on me so I could do some serious shopping!
I scored a new Bondi Band. A glitter one that is reversible. I grabbed a Sweaty Band to try them out since Tiffany swears by them. It feels a little bit too tight on my head but we’ll see how it goes. I might wear the glitter one tomorrow. I also got a new pedometer, water bottle, and flash light blinkies. I like treats. I like running treats even more.
When I got back to work, I was feeling pretty positive. I ran into a bunch of people I knew at the expo and everyone was upbeat and positive. When I started looking for names and bib numbers for the nRace app that we were planning on using, I started to get discouraged though.
See, the first 5000 bib numbers are for seeded positions. These seeded positions are ones that you had to race and enter to get. I don’t remember all the details on how it works, but I know that it was something like a 5k under 30 minutes kind of timing. That’s not something I can do. It’s not likely something I’m EVER going to be able to do. Seeing how many names on that list had seeded placing made me feel like my goal time of 1:45 is pointless.
I kept my mouth shut and did the rest of my work. When I got out of the booth from prompting the 6pm newscast, I had gotten a text message that one of my dearest and most fantastic friends got engaged! I’m not mentioning her by name yet because I don’t know if she has told everyone she wanted to yet, but I was so excited! That lifted my spirits right up.
I left the station and headed to Walmart to buy a cheap watch to wear. I had forgotten that my old one had frozen and stopped working, and I really want to have a watch so I can monitor my time and pace to help make me reach my goals. Walmart has tons of watches, did you know that? I stared at the wall of them for ten minutes before I found one that I knew how to use.
And for $11, it’s perfect. That is, until I can afford my Garmin of course.
So I get home and I hand over Brian’s packet to him and get dinner started. Pasta with some spinach and chicken, topped with a little goat cheese as a treat. Since I skipped lunch (BAD IDIOT) I was starving, so I ate some corn chips as well just to give me more calories. Which may also explain the glass of soda I had with dinner too. What?! I’m running 9.3 miles tomorrow, I’m allowed a glass of Coke!
As I was prepping to write this post, I got a phone call from someone who is also running the race. In a round about way the comment “I don’t want to push you too hard” came out. I bit my lip, held my tongue and tried to not explode. This person tried to explain what the comment actually meant, how it wasn’t meant to be offensive or mean in any way, and how our running styles were different and that’s how it was meant to be taken…but the damage had already been done. Because now I’m trying to figure out a way to make my pace faster in order to beat this person, and the others who have been making comments along the same lines, and to shut them the hell up.
But logic has since returned, and I know that in doing so I am not going to get what I want out of this race. Instead of a strong race with my head held high, I will be doing it to prove something and might hurt myself doing. The best thing I can do for myself right now is gather my senses, prepare like I know how to, and remember that I’m not racing anyone out there but myself. I have a goal in mind and I should focus on reaching that goal, not someone elses expectations of me.
That being said, I’m off to finish putting together some music on my player, gather my outfit for the race, and lay everything out so I can find it easily in the morning. Alarm goes off at 5am, and I have to get myself read.
For those of you who are wanting to find me for pictures – the WJXT crew is meeting at the Jaguar in front of the Stadium at 7:30am. Find me there. I’ll be wearing a rainbow tutu, a blue tank top and ribbons in my hair. And if I’m not THAT one, I’m the other one. 🙂